The All Might Dollar

Isn't it funny how so many things are affected by the amount or lack of money? Once upon a time there was a couple who didn't have any children yet, had a cute little house, money in the bank and life was good. There was never a stress about money or if they would be able to pay the power bill or mortgage. Then they decided to start a family. After a few months of trying they succeeded and got the positive test. It was a Friday and things were great. Monday morning came around and they both lost their jobs. Now, that just really sucks.

Time went by, the baby was born and holding a steady job was difficult for the husband. Lay offs seemed to always follow him. They decided to have mom stay home to raise the baby how they wanted and not how the day care lady wanted. Time went by and yet another little bundle came their way. All this time they have been struggling financially.

It is hard to not think that, what if no kiddos came along would they be better off? I love my children, but I also secretly long to make ends meet. I am sick of getting the raw end of the stick. Whenever an unexpected check happens to show up in the mail for something that was owed and we forgot about, I think, "Sweet this month will be great and we will balance". But then a car breaks down and this money is needed to fix a car. When are we ever going to get a break?

Being a stay at home mom is great. And I value being able to teach my children here at home the lessons I want them to learn in life. I have also tried to dabble in everything you can imagine to help bring extra income into the household. I have sold crafty sewing projects, yummy treats, mystery shopping, and even adding sparkles onto peoples toes. I like to make things and the extra money would be awesome if it was just that 'extra' but I get it and use to pay the power bill or what not. How I long to use it to buy a new bed for my 2nd child or even a bed frame for the 1st whose mattress is currently sitting on the floor. Or when my children want to be in tee ball or dance, I can say no problem lets do it. Instead of, how much does it cost?It is kind of exhausting and just plain stressful.

Financially struggling and staying home is hard. I think about heading back to work, but what about these two kids? It would cost me probably almost all my paycheck to pay for daycare. Then what is the point. I think I have looked into every 'work at home' business out there. But they say they need X amount of dollars to get you set up. What? I have to pay to work for you? Now that just doesn't seem right. For many years I have wanted to be an at home travel agent. But you need to be in with a parent company. Yet again, they want you to pay to do this. This baffles me and I have never done it because of it. I then find one, that looks amazing. No start up fees, 70% commission, but they won't give me the time of day.

I have so many, what I think, are great ideas on little side businesses. But as the saying goes, "It takes money to make money". How true that is. I see many friends that are very well off financially, and they just seem to have ways of making extra money just fall into their lap. I do not understand why this does not happen to those in the lower tax bracket? Where is my money tree?

So here is my little stress reliever for the day of posting my frustrations with no money.

Etiquette at church

This coming weekend is our church's Father and Son camp out. It is an annual tradition for most wards and I think the guys have a great time. Last year my husband went with another friend who happens to have all girls as well and they had a blast. As announcements were made a few days ago, someone told my husband he is not allowed to go because he does not have any sons. At first my huband thought this person joking but they were completely serious that he was not invited to go. (He will not tell me who said this). This statement downright TICKS me off. Really? Because he was not blessed with sons he is not allowed to go? After all he IS a father and he IS a son. He has gone almost every year since we have been married. This year he has a scout meeting early Saturday morning so he wouldn't be going anyway, but who has the nerve to say that to someone? So all the young couples in our ward who don't have kids yet, and all those who just have girls please be sure to stay home. Seriously! It is like telling me I cannot go to the youth fundraiser because I do not have any kids in the youth program yet. Really? Is our ward that shallow and cruel? I have many non-member friends I am trying to share the gospel with but it makes be leary of wanting to bring them into the ward when there are individuals saying these things. I understand how people can be members their entire lives then one day, just say it is not worth it anymore.

While I am already ranting (much to my husbands dismay) I might as well just let it all out right? Scouring my house has not helped to rid this frustration. We recently got a new bishopric on Easter Sunday. The old bishopric was awesome and amazing and was really there for my family. We went to hell and back and they were with us every step of the way. I am grateful for them, and their families for being there for us. As I am sure they were there for countless others in the ward, during the past few years. So why is it that a few individuals are throwing a thank you/goodbye party for them, and have only invited 35 families? About 10 of which are not even in our ward? Is it that these select families have a deeper connection with them than my family or what? Whatever that I was not invited but this should be a ward function and all should have the opportunity to come publicly say good-bye and thank you.

It is things of this nature that put a big wedge and divide our ward. We have never had unity since it was created and it BUGS me. There are several Sunday's that frankly I have no desire to go to church. With the remarks people make, the smirking in the hall, the saving of seats with your scriptures then you walk in after the sacrament has already been passed, and people unloading their callings onto others is getting quite annoying.



Maybe I have just always put up with things in the past, always said yes when I have no idea what I am suppose to be doing, or turn a blind eye when I see things and figured that is how things go. But you know, the experiences I have gone through in the past few years have changed my attitude a bit and I don't want to put up with it anymore. Because of my trials I know without a shadow of a doubt the church is true, and the Atonement is real. For that reason I will never leave. I have to remember the gospel is true, and perfect in every way, but that people are not.

What's a friend?

So I have been thinking a lot lately about friends. I want to move. We are in no position to move or anything but I seriously hate the house we are in and am always looking at other houses online longing for the day when we can move. But I want my daughter to stay at her same school because she has got a great group of little friends. I know kids are resilient and she will make more but it got me thinking about my friends. I have one that I have always known. I love that we went from preschool-high school and part of college together. We still are in touch. And it is a great friendship. Even though we have been apart for months at a time sometimes years we can just pick up like we never left off. People are funny. There are some that think I just have SO many friends and one who actually told me they wouldn't know anyone if it wasn't for me. But are all these people really my friends? What makes them a friend? We talk at a party, go to the same church or I watch their kids for that last minute dentist appt? I don't know. I get invited to random parties, outings and what not and used to be SO excited to be included. But as life happens and you evaluate these people, I wonder why they invite me. I am not included in conversations, when I try to join in my thoughts are contested and 'in their mind' proven wrong and I feel like an outsider just watching the conversations around me. What do I have in common with them, except maybe children or religion? Is that suppose to make us instant friends? What about our personal likes, interests? I don't feel connected to them in that way.


This doesn't feel like very good friends to me. My husband is great with analogies and put it this way. We have 'friends' that are in different fields as 'flowers', and we are the bees they buzz back and forth between the different flower patches, but since we are not a flower we don't have anywhere we really belong. I think this is pretty true to reality. Sometimes I wish I could just be a flower in someones set garden then other times I just want to be a mole and go into hiding underground.

My perspective of a true friend is someone you can call up at 3 am and say I need you can you come over. And with no questions asked they will be there, because they are your friend after all. I feel that I have probably seven people that would do this for me. Not even my family has made this list of people. Sadly six of the seven live outta state. Maybe that is all I need but sometimes it can make life frustrating. With my lack of apparently interesting things to be friends with me, I might just loose the one I have here. Scare em away..

Far too many IOUs that I will never get repaid from others in the different flower gardens because I'm not of highest priority in their garden. Makes you question why you ever wanted to be in that garden in the first place. So maybe I will be a mix of making my own flower garden and being the mole that lives in there.